Childbirth / Motherhood

5 Tips To Avoid Tearing Your Vagina During Childbirth

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If you’re reading this right now and are close to giving birth, chances are you’ve thought about vaginal tearing.

Am I right? 

Aside from wondering what contractions really feel like during labor, tearing during childbirth was one of my fears.

According to the ACOG, between 53 to 79% of vaginal deliveries will include some type of laceration (vaginal trauma). 

While these numbers may seem alarming, the good news is that most of those lacerations are superficial, and require little to no stitching at all. 

And many of them can be treated naturally at home.

Although it’s pretty much impossible to predict whether or not you’ll experience tearing during childbirth, there are some things you can do during labor to minimize the risk of perineal trauma.

Once you’re done here, don’t forget to jot down these 7 other things you should absolutely know about pushing during labor!

5 Tips To Avoid Tearing During Childbirth

1. Relax your muscles

Our bodies tense up in a natural response to pain.

To achieve a successful natural birth, avoid damaging your pelvic floor, slowing down or stalling your labor, potentially increasing your risk of medical intervention, it is important that you relax your body.

You want all of your muscle and tissues to remain as loose and elastic as possible so that when you begin to experience the ring of fire as your baby’s head crowns, you don’t tear your vagina.

One of the major keys to experiencing an overall relaxed birth is laboring at home for as long as possible.

Those feel good hormones that are so easily released when you are feeling safe and comfortable will help make your baby’s birth a breeze. 

I was a ball of nerves during labor with my first baby.

I was so worried about pooping (something that very commonly happens during labor) that I was trying to keep my butt shut, while while attempting to push at the same time. 

I had no idea that I was forcing my pelvic floor muscles into a round of tug-of-war.

I ended up getting quite exhausted and my daughter was born with a cone head… which disappeared after a couple of days.

The 2nd time around with my son, I knew what not to do.

I was just focused on surrendering and allowing my body to do its job.

Even as the burning sensation increased when my baby’s head started crowning, I tried my best to relax as much as possible.

As a result, I labored for no more than 20 minutes, and my son was born without a cone head.

I had a ton of energy afterwards and my postpartum recovery was a breeze. Thank God!

Relaxing your muscles during labor loosens up your body, encouraging it to produce more oxytocin, a hormone that stimulates contractions, and helps labor progress smoothly.

From the tips of your toes to your brows, muscle relaxation also promotes proper breathing which is important because when you tense up your muscles in response to pain and hold your breath, your baby gets deprived of oxygen.

This can cause fetal distress.

During the 2nd stage of labor, which is also known as the pushing stage, as you begin to feel pressure on your rectum and perineum, you may naturally begin to tense up your pelvic floor muscles.

What you want to do instead of this is, relax those muscles as if you’re peeing.

When you hold your pee, you are tensing up your muscles, preventing your bladder from emptying itself.

During labor you need to do the exact opposite.

2. Listen to your body

How do you listen to your body?

By simply relaxing and surrendering yourself to the process.

Allow your body to go through and endure the natural physiological process of labor without resisting (tensing up).

For example, when you start experiencing the ring of fire as your baby’s head crowns, listen to your and stop pushing.

Relax and allow your body to stretch. No need to fight it.

By doing so, your body is open and receptive to the contractions, as opposed to holding back and preventing it from doing its job.

One of the benefits of natural labor that I really enjoyed, was being able to feel everything that was taking place inside my body.

From the decent of my babies through the birth canal, to the stretching of my vagina to accommodate them, being able to feel that process allowed me to identify what my body needed.

It’s important to follow that natural flow rather than to be coached or to do “too much” on your own.

By doing so, you are keeping the same pace as your body, preserving your energy, reducing the risk medical intervention, and tearing during childbirth.

When your babies head begin to crown, you will start feeling a burning or stinging sensation in your vagina.

This is known as the ring of fire. You can read up on everything you need to know about the ring of fire and see some amazing birth picture over here.

That’s your body telling you to slow down, as your vaginal tissues stretch to accommodate your baby’s head and body.

Pushing while your baby’s head is crowning will probably cause you to tear.

Instead, slow down and breathe through the stretching.

Not pushing during the ring of fire stage is crucial, your contractions will expel your baby.

3. Control your breathing

Whatever you do, don’t hold your breath.

In fact, holding your breath is one thing you should absolutely avoid for a successful natural birth.

Breathing has a direct impact on your body’s response and ability to labor efficiently.

“Purple pushing” is the term that is commonly used when describing holding your breath as you push during labor.

This method of pushing goes against your body’s natural instincts. It increases the risk of tearing, fetal distress, medical intervention, and it also lowers your blood oxygen levels.

Poor breathing directly affects your baby by lowering the amount of blood carrying oxygen to him/her so it is important that you breathe while you push.

Some women prefer taking quicker, controlled shallow breaths, while others prefer longer, and deeper breaths.

Either way is fine as long as it’s controlled.

Rushed, erratic, shallow breathing causes an increase in the amount of adrenaline release into your body, tightening up your body, and increasing your sensitivity to pain.

4. Breathe your baby out

Contrary to what we’ve been told for many many years, you don’t have to put push with all of your might to deliver your baby.

Your body is well able to do so on it’s own.

Did you know that your body can birth a baby even if you happen to be in a coma? Yep. 

You really don’t need to push unless you feel an irresistible urge to do so.

Relax your bottom and breathe your baby out pushing only when prompted by your body  so as to prevent exhaustion, trauma, and medical interventions.

For me, pushing as my body led me to do, helped relieve the pain and pressure I felt in my bottom. 

5. Be in an upright position

Positioning plays a big role in how you birth your baby. Laying down flat on your back (like you see in the movies) is one of the top things you should avoid doing for a successful natural birth

Any position where your pelvis is perpendicular to the ground facilitates a smoother birthing experience.

Some examples of this are: the standing, squatting, and the supported all fours positions. I instinctively birthed both my children in the squatting position.  

If you’re concerned about tearing while in the squatting position, have a look at this study

You want to take advantage of the pull of gravity.

Being in an upright position opens up your pelvis, and encourages the descent of your baby, while reducing your pushing efforts and lowering your risk of tearing. 

If you enjoyed this post, you’ll love our Pushing During Labor 101 post, where you’ll learn about 7 other things you should absolutely know about pushing during labor!

I hope that you found these 5 key tips on how to prevent tearing during childbirth helpful!

Comment below and let me know if you found these tips helpful!

How to have a vaginal birth without tearing
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  • Angie
    May 22, 2020 at 7:42 pm

    I’m due in 3 months. Extremely anxious about childbirth. Really nervous about getting an epidural. I would like to give birth without one. I will try these tips.

  • Unathi
    April 13, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    This is by far the best advice I have read and I have been doing a lot of reading. Thank you so much. I’m actually preparing for vbac so crossing fingers.

  • Anu Ganesh | Simple Blissful Life
    April 24, 2019 at 9:22 am

    I have 3 kids and I can totally relate to all the points mentioned 🙂 Definitely a helpful article that all moms-to-be must read!

  • Abigail
    March 31, 2019 at 4:36 am

    Thank you! This is so helpful! I’m due in May! Will try n relax and breath through it 😂. The ring of fire tho 😅

  • Lisa
    January 30, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    Is there anything you recommend me practicing in order to be ready for standing or squatting or being on all 4s. I’ve read so much about this now in really want to try it this way

  • Renee
    January 30, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    I wish I found this earlier! I tore with all three of my children. My sister recently had a baby and tore so bad she had to have surgery. This is a very great article for any mom

  • Ya
    January 30, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    I tore both times (I didn’t have a natural birth). My next time around, if there is one lol I am still debating, I plan to do it naturally. Are my chances of tearing higher since I already have? and Great tips for mothers who need them!

  • Melisa from Crushing Motherhood
    January 30, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    As a mom, this information is super helpful. I wish I had it before having 3 kids!
    As a blogger, your site looks fantastic!!!

  • Live Learn better
    January 30, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    This is a great and informative post. Thanks for taking time to explain thoroughly.

  • sakshi @tripleamommy
    January 30, 2019 at 10:45 am

    This is pretty useful and i totally agree about relaxation. I remember with my first one i was so relaxed, I barely felt the initial labour pains. But I do wish I knew some of these tips before!

  • Lisa
    December 8, 2018 at 12:57 am

    This is a great post Mallaury! I love how you really broke it down for Mamas! I had 4 natural births and only tore slightly with the first. One thing my midwife recommended was to use evening primrose oil to avoid tears. I think it really helped. You take a capsule and cut it open, then rub the oil all over you perineum after taking a shower. Everyday starting at about 35 weeks. I did this religiously with babies 2, 3 and 4 and no tears at all. I was lying down with baby #2, squatted with #3 and kneeling with #4, just to give some ideas of all the positions that work. I also did ALOT of yoga during my pregnancies particularly butterfly pose.

    • Lifeofababe
      December 10, 2018 at 7:47 am

      I’ve read about EPO before but I’ve never used it! I’ll have to look into it more since I’ve never used it but many moms (including you) say that it works! Thank you so much for sharing you experiences with labor positions. There are so many out there it’s amazing…I just hope that more moms know it! I’ll also have to look into the butterfly pose. Sounds like that could make for an easier labor too!


    November 2, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    As a CNM, I agree with everything except the upright position. Studies have shown that the squatting position leads to more tears. I usually have my ‘natural’ moms on hand and knees or side lying. It takes the tension off the perineum and lets them breathe the baby out. I have few other tricks I use also…for those with epidurals that deliver in a more sitting, laying down position. 😉

    • Lifeofababe
      November 6, 2018 at 3:59 pm

      Hi Holli! I appreciate your input. I’d love to see some of the studies you’re referring to (I’m a bit of a research junkie lol). Here’s one about squatting during birth:

      Thanks for reading!

  • Erica
    September 29, 2018 at 9:18 am

    As a labor and delivery nurse, everyone poops. We don’t sit and talk about it in the lunch room when it does 😉 don’t make people feel negatively about us! We are here to support you and will support you because the doc will only come catch the baby and leave!

    • Lifeofababe
      September 29, 2018 at 10:56 pm

      It was a joke 😉

  • Erica
    August 12, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    So glad I found this! Due next month and I keep thinking about tearing and pooping, will I be able to breathe through it. Thanks for writing this it is very reassuring.

    • Lifeofababe
      August 13, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      Thank you so much! I’m glad you found this helpful. I pray you have a smooth delivery and quick recovery. Congratulations!


  • Ivana
    July 26, 2018 at 3:26 am

    Great post and definetely puts me more at ease !

    • Lifeofababe
      July 26, 2018 at 1:32 pm

      Glad you found this helpful, thanks for reading!


  • Gretchen | MomforMoms
    June 18, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    I was more worried about the rumors of forced enemas than I was pooping. lol I heard some awful things from older moms. Apparently that really used to be a thing. How awful!

    • Lifeofababe
      June 26, 2018 at 10:00 am

      FORCED ENEMAS?? YIKES! I’d probably consider doing one at home though…lol! Thank you for reading!

  • Stephanie
    June 9, 2018 at 2:28 am

    So many people are worried about pooping! I honestly couldn’t care less 😂 as several people are going to be staring at my lady parts, I feel like holding onto dignity is futile. They will have forgotten all about you the next day. One thing I am worried about is tearing, so I’ll definitely be using these tips. Thank you ☺️

    • Lifeofababe
      June 14, 2018 at 10:21 am

      Exactly LOL. I was terrified about this with my first and ended up pooping anyway. With my 2nd, I didn’t care whatsoever LOL. Thank you SO much for reading and I hope you have a safe delivery + quick recovery!



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